G1 If you can't do the time, don't do the crime
by Serling
Summary: This is the sequel to 'No one messes with our boys'. I hope you all enjoy it. A special thanks to Yoong and HairyGoggles for inspiring this story.
1. Chapter 1

Everything had finally returned to normal around the base and the twins had a mountain of punishment to get through, which they did with mixed emotions. Prowl and Ratchet, meanwhile, were enjoying having their boys back to normal.

"The base should be clean for a good few weeks to come," said Ratchet; he and Prowl were sitting across from each other at a table in the common room, each sipping at their mid-day ration of energon.

"Yeah, and the park in the city should be clean too; come next week Thursday anyway," added Prowl, before taking a sip of energon.

"Heh, never thought the twins would get community service."

"Well they have; it was mutually agreed on by myself, Optimus and the mayor."

"Think those two even know how to use a paper pick and a sack?"

"To pick up papers or as some other device that it was never intended to be?"

"Good point." Ratchet took another sip of his energon.

"So, who have they appointed to be the twins' 'babysitters' on that day?" Ratchet asked.

"I believe that Hound and Beachcomber have been appointed the charming task, seeing as they like to be out in a natural environment more than some of the others," Prowl replied before draining the last of the energon from his cube.

"Right. Well, we better get back to work." Ratchet started to raise himself from his chair.

"Yeah; don't want Optimus to catch me slacking off."

"I don't think lunch break is considered 'slacking off'."

Prowl just shrugged and Ratchet chuckled; Prowl was too much of a workaholic for his own good. Fortunately, Prowl didn't have to worry about Optimus turning the corner into the common room and finding him 'slacking off'; he was far too engrossed in checking out the latest news on the web.

Optimus was leaning rather tiredly on one elbow; his fist supporting his drooping head by almost burying itself into his cheek. He scrolled through list after list of news articles on a site that he was currently on until something caught his attention. Straightening up a little bit he clicked on the article, which was on the prank that 'Sunstreaker' and 'Sideswipe' had committed a few weeks ago. There was a picture there that he hadn't seen before; one of 'the twins', but, even though they were shrouded in shadows, there was something clearly different about them. Optimus saved the picture and took it into one of the image manipulation programs he had on his computer. After a bit of fiddling with various tools he got his answer.

"That's not Sunstreaker and Sideswipe," he said, as he peered at the photo.

"I-it couldn't be!" he said sitting bolt upright in his chair; a little too fast for his chair's liking.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed, as the chair toppled backwards; he was still holding onto the edge of the desk and so was left in a rather uncomfortable position. The crash was heard by Hound and Trailbreaker, who had been walking past Optimus' office when his unplanned action was executed.

"Optimus?" Hound asked, as he knocked on the door.

"You okay?" asked Trailbreaker.

"Yes; I'm all right, Trailbreaker, just uh… could you ask Ratchet and Prowl to come to my office… now?" Optimus asked.

"Sure, I suppose so."

"You sure you're all right, big guy?" Hound asked, holding an audio receptor close to the door to make sure he heard any noise from his commanding officer.

"Yes, I'm sure. Prowl and Ratchet please," he said.

"Right. We're on it, sir." With that Hound and Trailbreaker began to head off in search of the second-in-command and the medic, while Optimus sorted himself out.

Soon Prowl and Ratchet arrived at Optimus' office.

"You wanted to see us, Optimus?" Prowl asked, as he and Ratchet walked in.

"Yes, I did," Optimus replied, just putting his chair back in its place.

"What about?" asked Ratchet.

"That prank that 'the twins' did the other day on those humans."

"What about that?" asked Prowl.

Optimus pulled his chair out a bit so that he could sit down easier.

"It… wasn't them… was it?" he asked sitting down carefully; a smile hiding behind his mask.

Ratchet and Prowl shared a concerned glance.

"Well?" Optimus asked.

"What would make you say that it wasn't them?" asked Ratchet.

"Well, let's see if my suspicions are correct first. I would hate to condemn a 'bot or two without solid evidence." Optimus started to click on a few things on his computer screen.

"Says here that Hoist reported a tin of red and a tin of yellow paint missing," said Optimus, having opened the 'list of reported missing items' that had been set up after the twins had started to become more and more prank prone around the base. Prowl and Ratchet gave each other a nervous glance.

"And here it says that Wheeljack reported several pieces of sheet metal missing," Optimus continued.

"So? Who's to say the twins didn't take them during their 'prank bombardment' that we've just gotten over?" asked Ratchet.

"The reports were filed the morning before we took the twins down to town hall and I didn't see anyone else looking unusually yellow or red; except in the face because the twins were driving them to distraction, during the 'prank bombardment' ," Optimus replied, closing the list.

"Speaking of which… how are you recovering from the prank they played on you?" Prowl asked, sort of changing the subject.

"Well, but, heh, I don't recommend that anyone try rollerblading with old rolling chassis' attached to their feet… unless brakes are installed and capable of being activated."

"I still don't know how they cracked the security code on your door and got past Red Alert; apparently he didn't see a thing."

"Course he didn't; he was too busy searching out a 'Decepticon spy' in the lower levels. Turned out to be another twin prank," Ratchet explained.

"But then… who did he leave in his place?"

"The first poor mech to come his way, which just happened to be a newly paint bucketed Bumblebee; he was still wiping his optics clean when they no doubt snuck into Optimus' quarters and strapped the chassis' onto his feet."  
"Aah."

"Gentlemen, if you're done, I would like to get back to the matter at hand," Optimus said, trying not to smile too much.

"Sorry; you were saying?" asked Prowl.

"The twins were still in their 'funk' when those things went missing. That means it was someone else who took them and played the prank."

Prowl and Ratchet weren't too sure what to do now.

"And I think you two know who did it," Optimus said, clasping his hands together and setting them on the desk in front of him.

"Well,… there could be several guys who could have done this," said Ratchet.

"Like who?" Optimus asked, finding it mildly amusing how two of his senior officers were trying to get out of this unnoticed.

"Well… Bluestreak's good friends with them."

"As is Jazz," added Prowl.

"Yes, but… none so close as you two," said Optimus.

"Are you accusing Prowl and myself of playing a prank on a pair of humans to get the twins out of their 'funk' and back to their old selves?" asked Ratchet, folding his arms across his chest and looking Optimus square in the optic.

"No, I'm not saying that, Ratchet."

Ratchet nodded.

"But those paint splodges on your neck and on Prowl's door wing scream something else," Optimus smiled.

Ratchet and Prowl quickly covered their paint splotches.

"Couldn't find the paint remover?" Optimus asked.

"No; it had been used on the rest of the team before we could get our hands on it again," Ratchet replied, knowing that he and Prowl had been found out.

Optimus smiled at them, glad to see that they had owned up.

"How did you find out?" asked Prowl.

"I believe the saying is, 'a picture is worth a thousand words'," Optimus replied, turning his monitor with the altered picture of 'the twins' on its screen.

"Oh," the second-in-command and medic said in unison.

"Now, are you two going to tell me how you pulled it off?"

Ratchet and Prowl looked at each other and sighed.

"I rounded up some of the spare sheet metal we had and Prowl retrieved the paint while I kept Hoist and Grapple busy. We shaped the metal into replicas of Sideswipe and Sunstreaker's heads, painted ourselves and the helmets in the corresponding colours, used a couple of voice synthesizers and, well… you know the rest."

"How did you sneak out without Red Alert catching you?" Optimus put his elbows on the desk and supported his head in his hands while he listened to the story.

"I gauged when Red Alert would be looking away from the monitors that showed the route Ratchet and I would take," said Prowl.

"And I think it's obvious why we did it at night; not too easy to see the obvious differences in frame shape," said Ratchet before Optimus could ask anything else.

"Indeed. You know, I'm glad you two are on our side," said Optimus, as he sat back in his chair.

"Sir?" the two asked in unison.

"You could get rid of the whole force with your expertise."

Ratchet and Prowl smiled at the compliment.

"Aah, yeah. I suppose you two know that I can't let you get away with this though," Optimus said.

The smiles dropped from Prowl and Ratchet's faces.

"You can't be serious," said Ratchet.

"I'm sorry, Ratchet, but I can't punish the twins for something they didn't do. You two will report to the park on Thursday morning next week to pick up litter for the ten hours we had set for the twins," said Optimus.

Prowl and Ratchet's mouths dropped open.

"B-but…!" started Prowl.

"I believe the saying here is, 'if you can't do the time, don't do the crime'. End of discussion; I believe you two still have work to do, as do I," said Optimus, as he pulled his chair closer to his desk and began writing something on a data-pad. Prowl and Ratchet just stood there staring at their leader.

"Dismissed," he said not looking up from his work.

The two closed their mouths and began to walk out of Optimus' office.

The following week Thursday came all too fast for Prowl and Ratchet, who had 'replaced' Beachcomber and Hound in 'babysitting' the twins.

"You missed a piece," said Sideswipe, as he pointed to a scrap of paper on the ground.

Prowl screwed up his face, spiked the paper with his paper pick and stuffed it into the sack he had on his shoulder.

"Hey, it's not our fault that Prime found you two out," said Sideswipe; he and Sunstreaker were watching Prowl and Ratchet pick up every piece of litter in the park.

Suddenly Ratchet saw someone drop a piece of paper on a path near by him.

"Hey!" he growled in the man's direction.

The man looked casually over his shoulder.

"Pick it up!" Ratchet commanded pointing to the paper.

"You're the one with the paper pick; you pick it up," the man said, walking away from Ratchet.

"Why I oughta…," started Ratchet, as he 'pushed his sleeves up' and began to advance on the offender.

"Your turn; I stopped him last time," said Sideswipe.

Sunstreaker sighed.

"Fine. Ratchet!" Sunstreaker reprimanded, as he quickly walked after the medic.

Ratchet returned with a minimal struggle, grumbling all the way though.

"Lot of help you two are being," he said looking at the twins standing on the sidelines, "We get in trouble because of you and do you even offer to help?"

"Hey! We are helping, remember? We're keeping an audio out for any Autobots in the area," said Sunstreaker, arms folded across his chest.

"So that your little secret doesn't get found out by the rest of the guys," added Sideswipe.

Ratchet grumbled something under his breath and got back to work.

"Look on the bright side, Ratch, only five hours to go," smiled Sideswipe, trying to raise the medic's spirits.

Ratchet and Prowl glared daggers at the red twin, who just grinned his signature grin at them; they just shook their heads as they continued to pick up litter.

Later that day, the four returned back to base and Ratchet and Prowl made an inconspicuous beeline for the common room to get a mug of energon, while the twins went back to their previously designated duties.

Ratchet and Prowl were slumped in their chairs in the common room when Jazz came up to their table; his signature grin plastered on his face.

"If no-one's dying," said Ratchet.

"Or in need of tactical advice or disciplinary action," said Prowl.

"Please leave," they said in unison.

"I never knew you two were such master minds," grinned Jazz.

"What?" the two asked in confusion.

Jazz slid a data-pad towards the two worn out mechs. Prowl picked it up cautiously, opened the file on it and found the picture of himself and Ratchet that Optimus had shown them earlier.

"How did you find out about this?!" Prowl almost squeaked.

"I'll give you two guesses, Prowl, and you just better answer red and yellow," said Ratchet irritably as he started to rise from his seat.

"Nah! Nothing like that; the twins haven't said anythin' about this," said Jazz.

"Really? Then how did you come into the possession of that?"

"Was in the boss 'bot's office, saw he had left a pic up on the monitor and… well…"

Ratchet fixed the Porsche with a look that, if it could, would have knocked him flat on his back, while Prowl simply slid his hand down his face.

"Who doesn't know?" he asked, as his hand came off of his mouth.

"Everyone currently," Jazz grinned.

"Good."

"Doesn't mean it's going to stay that way?"

Ratchet and Prowl looked concernedly in Jazz's direction.

"What do you want?" Ratchet asked hurriedly.

"Nothin', except…," started Jazz.

"Except?" Prowl asked suspiciously.

"You two just have to do me one little favour."

"What?" the medic and tactician asked in wary unison.

Jazz grinned and the two officers knew that something bad was coming their way.

The next day, Prowl and Ratchet found themselves in a local laser game facility.

"I can't believe you conned us into this, Jazz," Prowl said quietly over his radio to the other second-in-command; he and Ratchet were standing back to back with their 'lasers' at the ready.

"Hey, I didn't 'con' you," Jazz replied equally as quietly.

"He's right, Prowl; he didn't con us," said Ratchet.

Prowl looked back at his partner in crime.

"He just blackmailed us… there's a difference."

They heard Jazz chuckle from not too far off.

"Blackmailed?" came Hound's slightly amused voice over the radio waves.

"Mind your own business!" Prowl and Ratchet reprimanded.

Ratchet and Prowl shook their heads at the intrusion.

"What made you choose this place anyway, Jazz?" Prowl asked, changing the topic slightly.

"Well…," started Jazz.

"Hey, Prowl, Hound at two," said Ratchet pointing up at a ledge just in front and to the side of the second-in-command.

"Thanks," said Prowl, taking aim and 'firing' at the tracker.

"Wounded! Wounded! Centre back!" the computerized voice echoed through the artificial canyon.

"Dang it!" exclaimed Hound, as he began to make his way towards the exit.

"Hound's down!" called one of Hound's team mates.

"You two could have left me with my best man!" complained Jazz over his com-link to Prowl and Ratchet.

"Don't hate the player," said Prowl.

"Hate the game," said Ratchet; both mechs were smiling from audio to audio, even though they would never admit to enjoying themselves.

Jazz grumbled something unintelligible.

"Sorry you were saying," said Prowl, getting back to their previous conversation.

"Right; the guys and I just thought this would be fun to do," Jazz replied.

"And we're here because?" asked Ratchet.

"We needed two more mechs to make up the other team, but everyone had duties that they couldn't get out of," explained Jazz.

"Which is where 'that' comes in doesn't it?"

"Sorta. I was going to ask you anyway because you two were the only ones capable of getting out of work for the day."  
"But you knew we would say 'no'," said Prowl.

"Unless you gave us some sort of incentive," Ratchet almost growled.

"Yep!" Jazz grinned.

"What was your 'incentive' going to be previously?" asked Prowl, wondering what else the charismatic Porsche had against him and the CMO.

"Hadn't come up with anything solid; was going to try the old 'it's a training thing', but figured the pair of you would find some way 'round that."

"Within a klik," Ratchet said under his breath.

Prowl smiled slightly at Ratchet's comment.

"And when you found…," started Prowl.

"Yep; you're quick."

The second-in-command and medic just shook their heads at the Porsche's underhandedness.

"Jazz, when we spot you… I'm going to shoot you," said Ratchet, tapping his 'laser' against his hand.

"You'll have to find me first and that means you're going to have to come out from your little hidey hole of yours," Jazz grinned.

Prowl and Ratchet looked surprised.

"How'd you?" started Prowl.

"I would say he's got a little help there, Prowl. Look up," said Ratchet.

Prowl looked up and found Smokescreen lying there with his 'laser' pointed right at them; so long as they didn't move he couldn't hit them, but he was covering his target so that they had to move if they wanted to hit him.

"Who's on our team again?" Ratchet asked Prowl quietly.

"No one quick enough to deal with Smokescreen; he'll see them coming a mile away," Prowl replied equally as quietly.

"Are either of you going to do the mechly thing and move or are we just going to stay around here all day?" asked Smokescreen, growing tired of just lying around watching the two senior officers. Prowl and Ratchet sent their reply loud and clear; they folded their arms across their chests and pressed their backs even more firmly together. Smokescreen groaned at the news.

"Any ideas for what we can do to get Jazz back?" Ratchet whispered to Prowl.

Prowl thought for a moment and then smiled slightly.

"I have a few," he replied.

"How much trouble would we get into if Prime found out it was us?" Ratchet asked.

"Mmm… enough. Twin worthy; how's that?"

"How easily would he find out?"

"So long as one of us is on monitor duty instead of Red Alert… slim."

"I like it. When this is over, my office; we'll start planning tonight."

Prowl smiled; this was fast becoming a habit.


	2. Chapter 2

.Chapter two.

(Author's note: Just re-uploading due to grammatical problems. :D)

"Problem with Jazz is not much bugs him," said Ratchet; he and Prowl were having a meeting in his office. They had just got back from the laser game where their team had lost quite badly, but they hadn't been as concerned about that as some of their team mates because to them it was just a meaningless game.

"Tell me about it," agreed Prowl, "One of the things that does bug him is bad music, but that's not exactly helpful to us."

Ratchet just nodded and stroked his chin thoughtfully; Jazz was a tough mech to prank properly. Ratchet let out a sigh and then looked at a shadowy corner of his office were Prowl had stacked a few things.

"What you get?" he asked.

"Glue. Paint in several embarrassing shades of pink. Rope of varying strengths. Bungee cords. Buckets. Duct tape. Wax. Fake snakes, spiders, insects. That gross slime stuff…," started Prowl.

"You been going through the twins' inventory?" Ratchet couldn't help smiling at the list; everything mentioned he had had to remove from someone at sometime or other.

"Who does the reports after they've committed an offence?"

"Good point."

"Also,… I'm one of the few who have the key-code to the contraband room."

Ratchet looked at Prowl as if his door wings had suddenly become fairy wings, but then a smile began to spread across his face.

"You mean this…," he started, his grin growing.

"Yes; _this_ all used to belong to the twins, until Red Alert got a hold of it," Prowl smiled almost smugly.

Ratchet laughed.

"Priceless Prowl! Priceless! Ha!" Ratchet grinned.

"Thank you," smiled Prowl.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

"Hold on!" called Ratchet.

"Hide the stuff," Ratchet whispered urgently to Prowl.

"With what?" whispered Prowl, looking around for something to hide the stuff with.

Ratchet quickly whipped a tarp out from his subspace and threw it to Prowl saying, "Use this!"

Prowl quickly covered their stash with the tarp just as Ratchet opened the door of his office.

"Yes?" he asked, as the door slid open.

"Mind if we come in?" asked Sideswipe, his signature grin plastered on his face.

"Uh… sure."

With that Sunstreaker and Sideswipe walked into the medic's office.

"What are you two doing here?" asked Prowl, as Ratchet closed the door.

"Heard you and Ratchet were planning on pranking Jazz," replied Sideswipe.

"How did you…"

"Red Alert," the twins chorused.

Ratchet turned and glared at the security camera in the same corner of the room that their stash was in; he then pointed at it and then at the floor in front of him. Just then Sunstreaker noticed the tarp.

"Really, you two could have hidden your stash better," he said, walking over to the tarp and pulling it off of the stuff.

"Hey! Those are our bugs!" exclaimed Sideswipe, as he recognised the jar of plastic bugs right next to the tin of fake snakes.

"And our slime. _And_ our special paint mixes!" added Sunstreaker.

"So? You're not using it at the moment," said Prowl.

"This came from the contraband room didn't it?"

"Of course."

Before the twins could protest there was another knock at the door; Ratchet opened his mouth to tell someone to cover the stuff, but the twins were a step ahead of him. They had rearranged the stuff into a chair shape and were now sitting on it.

"You two are organised," said Ratchet in mild disbelief.

The twins just smirked.

"Come in," Ratchet said to the person outside his door.

Soon the door opened and Red Alert walked in.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked, a smug smile on his lips.

Prowl and Ratchet fixed him with a glare.

"You found us out, huh?" asked Ratchet.

"Yes," Red Alert replied simply.

"You know we won't be able to let you go without you swearing not to tell anyone else now," said Prowl.

"What are you going to do if I mention this to someone?"

Ratchet and Prowl looked at each other out of the corner of their optics and smirked.

"We'll let _our boys_ loose on you," replied Ratchet.

"Your boys?" Red Alert asked, not entirely sure who Ratchet was referring to.

Prowl and Ratchet pointed over their shoulders with their thumbs at the twins; Red Alert looked in the direction and found Sideswipe smiling and wiggling his fingers at him in a kind of wave, while Sunstreaker smirked evilly. Red Alert looked worriedly at Prowl, pointed somewhat discreetly at the twins and mouthed 'them?'. Prowl and Ratchet nodded.

"So… do we have a deal?" asked Ratchet.

Red Alert just nodded quickly.

"Good," Ratchet smiled, "Now, be a good little security officer and go switch off the camera that's in here."

"But what if Optimus walks in and finds that it's out? H-he'll start asking questions," said Red Alert.

"To which he would have to give answers… if you catch my drift," said Sideswipe.

"Oh yeah," Ratchet said almost under his breath.

"Well then, where could we go where there isn't a security camera?" asked Prowl; the question being directed at both Red Alert and the twins.

There was a momentary silence, but it was quickly broken by Sideswipe.

"I know where," he said.

Prowl and Ratchet looked at the red twin, waiting for him to continue.

"_But_ you gotta promise not to reveal it's location to anyone else. Cool?" he asked.

"We promise," chorused Prowl and Ratchet.

"Great, let's get going."

Soon Ratchet and Prowl found themselves in a lava tube several yards beneath the base; they had dismissed Red Alert with a stern reminder of what would be unleashed if he so much as mimed what he had seen to someone else.

"Here we are," announced Sideswipe, as they walked out of the tube into a cavern filled with various pieces of equipment and several stacks of full energon cubes.

"So this is where you hide all of your stuff," said Prowl, as he looked around and noticed several contraband items; including several movies that had been banded from the base because of the carnage they had caused by giving the guys too many scenes to re-enact in their spare time.

"Yeah."  
"Where do you watch these?" Prowl held up some of the movies.

"Like we're going to tell you," said Sunstreaker, as he walked up to Prowl and snatched back the movies.

"Do you know how easy you two have made it to bust you if we ever need to?" asked Ratchet; he was still looking around in a muted sense of wonder.

"Pfft! Please, Ratchet; we're not that stupid," said Sunstreaker.

"Yeah," agreed Sideswipe.

"This is but _one_ of our stash points."

"Where are the others?" asked Prowl.

"Like we're going to tell _you_," the twins chorused.

"It's not like we distrust you or anything, Prowl, but…," started Sideswipe.

"We've still got to have some places that you don't know about," finished Sunstreaker.

Prowl nodded understandingly; he respected that, especially seeing as the twins were helping them, in a way, to get back at Jazz.

"So, we can move our stuff down here?" Ratchet asked.

"Please, just send them back to the contraband room," said Sunstreaker in his usual smug way.

"Yeah, we've upgraded," added Sideswipe with his signature grin.

"Oh really?" asked Ratchet.

"Really," the twins replied.

"How so?" asked Prowl.

"You'll have to wait to find out," Sideswipe grinned.

Prowl just nodded.

"So…," started Ratchet.

Everyone looked at him.

"Any ideas as to what we can do to prank Jazz?" he asked.

The twins looked at each other almost amusedly.

"You want… _our_ opinions?" Sunstreaker asked in mild disbelief.

"Prowl and I are new to this; sure we have ideas as to what to do, but… let's face it, you two are the real 'kings' of pulling pranks," replied Ratchet, his arms folded across his chest plate in his signature 'angry' medic stance; even though he wasn't in anyway cross with the twins.

"What did you have in mind?" Sideswipe asked.

"Tying him up and suspending him from something. Painting him one of the many shades of pink you boys had mixed up. Uh…," started Prowl.

The twins didn't look impressed.

"Those wouldn't do anything to Jazz; if anything he would enjoy it," said Sunstreaker.

"That's why we're asking you, Sunny boy," said Ratchet.

"Give us a day and we'll give you a list of possible pranks to play on Jazz," said Sideswipe.

"Hold on! What's in it for us?" asked Sunstreaker.

"Business-like as always," said Ratchet with a mildly amused tone in his voice.

"Yeah."

"A day pass each for of you at a day of your choosing," said Prowl.

The twins weren't really impressed with the offer.

"How's about… an exclusive look at the new equipment I'm getting next week? You can take anything that strikes your fancy," Ratchet smiled smugly knowing that the twins were always on the look out for something new that they could alter the use of for their own needs.

The twins looked tempted.

"That's our best offer, I'm afraid," said Prowl.

"You got yourselves' a deal," smiled Sideswipe, as Sunstreaker held a hand out to Ratchet to shake. Ratchet took the yellow twins' hand and shook it firmly. Once Sunstreaker had shaken Ratchet's hand, he turned to Prowl and held his hand out to him. Prowl nodded, walked up to him and shook his hand.

"Right; now, get back to your jobs and return that stuff to the contraband room before someone else finds out that it's missing," instructed Sunstreaker.

Ratchet and Prowl nodded and began to leave.

"We'll leave the list with you tomorrow morning," Sunstreaker said after the two retreating mechs.

"Looking forward to reading it, Sunstreaker," said Ratchet, just before he and Prowl disappeared into the lava tube again.

The next morning, after carefully replacing the items taken from the contraband room, Ratchet and Prowl meet in Ratchet's office.

"So, any idea when the twins are going to drop off the data pad?" Prowl asked.

"No; you know what they're like," replied Ratchet.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door to Ratchet's office.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Masterminds one and two reporting for duty," came the whispered reply.

"Enter."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker darted into the office, closing the door quickly behind them; Sideswipe knelt down and held an audio receptor close to the door. Ratchet and Prowl gave him an odd look.

"Clear. We can talk," he said.

"What were you listening for?" asked Ratchet.

"Jazz."

"Jazz?" Prowl and Ratchet asked in unison.

"Yeah; we passed him on the way down here," replied Sideswipe.

"Then why, if you passed him, did you have to do a 'security check'?" asked Prowl.

"We passed him _coming_ this way. We were going the same way," explained Sunstreaker.

"Aah," nodded Ratchet and Prowl.

"Here's the list." Sunstreaker handed a data-pad to Ratchet.

Ratchet nodded and opened it, but didn't find a list at all.

"Uh… Sunstreaker," Ratchet said.

"Yes?" asked Sunstreaker.

"This doesn't look like a list."

"What are you talking about?"

Ratchet hit the projection button and soon a hologram of the contents was sitting on top of the pad. Sunstreaker cringed, as he quickly shut the hologram off and snatched back the pad; he then flung it into subspace. He dug around in several subspace pockets, mumbling something about the doodles not being his best work, before bringing up another data-pad.

"There you go," he said, handing the data-pad to Ratchet.

Ratchet nodded gratefully at the yellow twin and opened the data-pad. Ratchet read through several of the ideas on the list and chuckled softly at some of them.

"Nice, boys, nice," smiled Ratchet, as he put the data-pad into a subspace pocket of his own.

"Now… when do these parts arrive exactly, Ratchet?" asked Sideswipe rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Ratchet smiled amusedly at Sideswipe.

"Next week Thursday, Sideswipe. Come through to the loading docks early and I'll help you open the crate and seal it so that Red won't even know that we were there," Ratchet replied.

"Right," the twins nodded.

"Good. Now, get outta here before Jazz comes back and starts to think that there's something up."

The twins smiled at Ratchet's sneakiness; they hadn't seen the CMO so much like themselves before. They then quickly and quietly left the office and integrated themselves back into the main stream of Autobot activity. Once the twins had disappeared, Prowl turned to Ratchet.

"So? What's our first option?" Prowl asked.

"I'll take care of that; you just keep your optics open for it," Ratchet grinned deviously.

Prowl raised an optic ridge at the reply, but left it at that and took his leave; he had work of his own that he needed to do. Once Prowl had left him in peace, Ratchet laced his fingers together and cracked them; this was going to be fun.

Later that day, after another fight with the Decepticons, Jazz was brought into medical with several of the other soldiers.

"All right, Jazz, you're fit to go again," said Ratchet, as the second-in-command sat up on the medical berth.

"Thanks, Ratch," Jazz smiled, as he hopped off of the berth.

"No problem; just try not to use your head too much in battle like that again."

Jazz chuckled at the comment; he had come in with a seriously caved in helm courtesy of Rumble.

"Sure thing, Doc," he grinned, as he began to leave the med-bay.

"Next," called Ratchet.

Next was none other than Prowl.

"You the last?" Ratchet asked, as he saw the other second-in-command limp towards him with a hole in his leg.

"Yes. Least damaged," Prowl replied, as he sat down on the berth; glad to take the weight off of his injured leg. Prowl carefully pulled his injured leg onto the berth for Ratchet to work on it.

"You want to be knocked out?" Ratchet asked.

"No; just a local," replied Prowl.

"Right." Ratchet opened a panel on Prowl's leg and pulled out the necessary wires.

"Feel anything?" he asked, grabbing Prowl foot and moving it slightly.

"No," Prowl replied.

"Good." With that Ratchet got to work on mending the tactician's leg.

"When you going to 'get to work'?" Prowl asked in a hushed voice.

"Already have," Ratchet replied, not looking up from his work.

"When?"

"Keep a look out for it."

Prowl just nodded; he didn't want to risk anyone over hearing their conversation, especially anyone in the surveillance room. Just then Prowl's attention was grabbed by four little rubber pieces on a nearby tray.

"Ratchet?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Ratchet replied still working on the second-in-command's leg.

"What are those?"

Ratchet looked up and saw what Prowl was looking at.

"My work," the CMO smiled and then got back to welding the tactician's leg up.

Prowl took a moment to realise what Ratchet had meant.

"You mean you…," started Prowl.

"Just wait and see," Ratchet replied, a smug smile stuck on his face.

Prowl just smiled and shook his head at his partner in crime.

Later that day, Ratchet and Prowl were in the command room talking with Optimus when Bumblebee and Spike came running through.

"Hey, Jazz!" Spike called.

"Yeah?" Jazz asked.

"There's a concert in town this evening and I've got two extra tickets; you and Blaster want to come with Bumblebee, Carly and me?"

Jazz's signature grin appeared on his face in moments.

"Sure. I'll see if Blaster's game," Jazz smiled.

"Great."

Jazz quickly radioed Blaster and within seconds the communications specialist was in the command room with them.

"When we leaving?" he asked.

"Now, if you're ready," said Bumblebee.

"We were born ready," grinned Jazz.

"Good; we just have to pick Carly up first," said Spike.

Jazz and Blaster nodded.

"What are we waiting for then? Let's go," said Bumblebee, as he transformed and Spike quickly got into his driver's seat.

Jazz and Blaster transformed shortly after Bumblebee; Blaster was able to throw himself through Jazz's window, but there was something not quite right with Jazz.

"Uh… Jazz," started Spike.

"Yeah?" Jazz asked, not noticing the problem.

"You might want to get some air in those tyres they look…"

"Flat as pancakes," said Bumblebee.

"Say what?" Jazz quickly checked his tyres and indeed all the air of out of them.

"Why you little…, Blaster, mind gettin' out f' a moment?" Jazz asked.

"Sure," Blaster threw himself out and transformed, just as Jazz transformed and began to stalk towards Ratchet; who was finding it very difficult to keep from grinning from audio to audio.

"You took my tyre caps off!" Jazz accused.

"Did I? I must have forgotten to put them back on. Come, they're possibly still on the tray next to the berth," said Ratchet, putting on a semi-decent innocent act, as he put a hand on the annoyed Porches' shoulder and began to lead him towards the med-bay again.

"Blaster, go with Spike and Bumblebee; I'll catch up," said Jazz, as he allowed the CMO to lead him away.

"'Kay; see yah there, man," said Blaster, as he transformed and threw himself through Bumblebee's open window onto the passenger seat. With that Bumblebee started his engine and began to drive out of the base.

In the med-bay; Jazz was in his vehicle mode while Ratchet pumped his tyres full of air again and replaced the caps.

"Better?" Ratchet asked.

"You and Prowl are up to something," Jazz said, a distrusting tone in his voice.

"Now what would make you say that?"

"You're disappearing way too much into your office and, besides, I saw the twins duck into your office earlier too."

"Jazz, that hurts me deeply. You don't _trust_ your own doctor not to play a prank on you?"

"With what you did to those humans… let's just say that I wouldn't put it past you." Jazz transformed and the CMO saw something very rare; Jazz was not grinning his usual grin. He was glaring at the medic; optics fixed, mouth set in a straight line, body tense: ready to act quickly if necessary. He only ever gave that look to Decepticons and even then it was rare. Ratchet tried hard not to smile amusedly at the second-in-command's expression.

"Very well, Jazz; if that's how you feel… I can't change that," said Ratchet.

Jazz just kept glaring at the CMO, as if warning him to not even try anything.

"You're free to go," said Ratchet.

Jazz nodded and then began to leave, but didn't take his optics off of the CMO; not until he reached the door and the relative safety of the corridor, but even then he was a bit jumpy. Jazz knew that Prowl and Ratchet were up to something now and it had him on his toes.

Shortly after Jazz had left, Prowl entered.

"He's onto us," he said, as he walked up to Ratchet.

"I know," smiled Ratchet.

"Isn't this going to be detrimental to our attempts to prank him?"

"No, if anything it'll make it more enjoyable. We may not even have to play any more pranks on him; just give him a knowing look every now and then."

Prowl didn't quite understand the medic's logic; Ratchet picked up on the tactician's confusion.

"Jazz is used to the twins' brand of pranks; right?" he asked.

"Yes, he can see one coming a mile away and avoid it," replied Prowl.

"Correct; Jazz knows all the major and even the minor prankster's styles, so he can live in relative safety of their pranks… he doesn't know _our_ brand, Prowl."

Prowl suddenly got what Ratchet was meaning.

"Which means…," started Prowl, a smile beginning to spread across his face.

"Exactly; the 'Jazz-man' won't have a clue as to what we're gonna do, where we'll do it, and or when so he'll be as jumpy as a grasshopper in spring," Ratchet said, a chuckle building up in the back of his vocal processor.

"Oh, poor, Jazz; he doesn't know what kind of torture he's going to be enduring."

"Yeah; the beauty of it being that we may not have to really _do_ anything to get him to freak out."

The pair started chuckling, as quietly as they could as not to draw attention to themselves, but if anyone had seen them they possibly would have likened them to a pair of mad scientists planning their next dastardly experiment.


	3. Chapter 3

.Chapter three.

(Author's note: My apologies for the many mistakes in this chapter particularly regarding Hoist and Grapple's names. ^^; I've corrected them and I hope that this chapter will make more sense now. Enjoy!)

It was after midnight when Jazz, Blaster and Bumblebee returned and Jazz was not a happy mech. He marched straight into the command centre 'cause he knew that Prowl would be there for his shift. Prowl heard the doors open and close, but didn't bother to look to see who it was. Suddenly his chair was grabbed from the back and swung 'round to face the enterer.

"Jazz, back so soon?" he asked with a slightly smile.

"Where. Is. Ratchet?" Jazz asked, he was not in the mood for niceties.

"Why do you ask?"

Jazz's visor flickered as if his optic was twitching.

"Try this on f' size," Jazz said, transforming and driving around in a circle; his wheels were issuing the classic song 'pop goes the weasel'. Prowl found it hard not to laugh. Jazz transformed, pulled one of the caps off of his tyres, and held it up to the tactician's face.

"Musical caps," Jazz said, thoroughly annoyed.

Prowl snorted and had to put a hand in front of his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

"Now, for the last time, where is Ratchet?" asked Jazz, replacing the cap in an attempt to keep his almost flat tyres inflated.

"I believe he was taking inventory with First Aid in the med-bay," Prowl replied with an amused smile on his face.

"Thank you." With that Jazz stalked off to find Ratchet.

In the med-bay, Ratchet and First Aid were peacefully doing inventory when the doors burst open and Jazz stormed in; startling First Aid.

"Ratchet!" he almost growled, as he walked quickly towards the CMO and now quivering medical assistant.

"Jazz? Back so soon?" Ratchet asked with a smug smile, while he finished tallying up the number of welding rods he had left.

"Don't play the innocent with me."

Ratchet looked at Jazz and noticed how irate the usually calm second-in-command was; he then turned to First Aid.

"Aid, why don't you get going back to your quarters? It looks like Jazz and I will be having a mech-to-mech talk," suggested Ratchet.

First Aid just nodded, still too startled by Jazz's sudden entrance and obvious annoyance with something to say anything else. He quickly gathered up the few things he had brought with him and scuttled out of the med-bay.

"All right, Jazz; coast is clear. You can let me have it," Ratchet smiled smugly, leaning against a cabinet and folding his arms across his chest plate.

"Musical caps… real cute," Jazz said.

"Is that it?"

"Pretty much."

"Good. Here are your original caps; you can check 'em if yah want." Ratchet handed Jazz his original caps; the second-in-command then inspected each one just to be sure.

"You want me to pump up your tyres while you're here?" Ratchet asked.

"Yeah right! I'll go down to Sparkplug's tomorrow and get him to pump 'em up thank you," said Jazz, as he turned to leave.

"How you going to get there on flats?"

"I'll get someone to drive me down."

With that Jazz opened the med-bay doors and walked out back towards the safety of his room.

Suddenly Ratchet's com-link crackled to life.

"He's not a happy camper, is he, Ratchet?" came Prowl's voice through Ratchet's com-link.

"No, he's not… and we're just getting started," the medic grinned.

The following week was a nightmare for Jazz; he was always on his toes regardless of Prowl and Ratchet's presence. When he got injured in battle, it took, Ironhide, Trailbreaker and Hoist to get him into medical, but even then Jazz wouldn't hold still until Hoist promised to stay there and check everything that Ratchet did. Unless he had a duty to do, Jazz sealed himself into his room, which was the only safe place he could be; he was glad that Prowl and Ratchet had the dignity to respect a mech's room. So far he had been glued to his seat several times, had goo come out of the shower instead of water in the wash racks, and a piece of rope tied to his rear axle so that when he transformed to go help with a mission he found himself tied to Teletraan-1. Originally the blame had been plastered onto the twins or other well known pranksters but when they proved that it wasn't their style or way the charges were dropped. Then the day came where Jazz couldn't take it anymore; he gathered up as much energon he could that night, stashed it in his room, left a note for Optimus on his desk and sealed himself into his room.

The next morning, Optimus walked into his office to see what had been lined up for him that day and found Jazz's note on his desk; it read:

To Optimus Prime,

I'm sorry man, but… I just can't live like this anymore. Until Prowl and Ratchet _sign_ a cease fire on the pranks, I ain't comin' outta my room.

Sincerely,

Jazz.

Optimus sighed and opened a private communication line to Prowl and Ratchet.

"My office. Now," he said simply, as he sat down to write up a cease fire form.

Soon the tactician and CMO arrived.

"Sir?" they asked.

"Have you two been the ones pranking Jazz?" Optimus asked.

"What would make you say that, sir?" asked Prowl, who was getting better at keeping things from him.

"This." Optimus handed them the note from Jazz; they quickly read it and smiled.

"Found us out… _again_," smiled Ratchet.

"What did he do to you to incite something like this?" Optimus asked, not understanding what was going on with his top soldiers.

"Jazz found that picture you found of us when he came in here about a week ago," started Ratchet.

"And he used it to blackmail us into joining him and some of the soldiers in a 'laser game'," continued Prowl.

"So, this was our way of teaching him a lesson about blackmailing," finished Ratchet.

"I see, but… don't you think he has _learnt_ his lesson?" asked Optimus.

Prowl and Ratchet looked at each other and smiled.

"I suppose so," Ratchet said.

"Good, then please sign here and here," said Optimus, showing the pair where to sign.

"Sign?"

"Sign what?" asked Prowl, wary of signing anything that he hadn't read in full after several incidents with the twins and Jazz.

"As you read in Jazz's note; he wouldn't come out of his room until the pair of you had signed a cease fire on the pranks." Optimus held two styluses out to the two senior officers.

"Okay; I guess if it'll make him happy," said Ratchet, as he took a stylus; as did Prowl. They were about to sign when Optimus held his hand up for them to stop.

"Sir?" they asked in unison.

"I believe we need witnesses to a signing like this," Optimus replied, as he radioed Ironhide, Hoist, and Trailbreaker.

The three chosen mechs arrived within moments.

"Wut's the matter, Prahm?" asked Ironhide.

"Yes, Grapple and I were in the middle of a very interesting discussion," said Hoist.

"I need witnesses," Optimus replied.

"Witnesses?" the three asked in unison.

"Fur wut, Prahm?" asked Ironhide.

Optimus looked at Ratchet and Prowl for the go ahead to tell the tale; they looked at each other and then at the new mechs.

"Only if they promise to keep this to themselves," said Ratchet.

"Very well. Do you promise?" Optimus asked the others.

"Promise wut?" asked Ironhide, getting thoroughly confused.

"Very well we promise! Now what _is_ going on here?" asked Hoist, getting thoroughly annoyed at being pulled away from an interesting conversation for this apparent nonsense.

" Remember that prank the 'twins' did on those humans a while back?" asked Ratchet.

"Yes?" the others answered slowly.

"Well…"

"It wasn't exactly the twins," said Prowl.

"You mean you…," started Hoist in disbelief.

"Yes, we were the ones who played the prank," said Ratchet.

The others just looked at the pair of usually straight faced, no nonsense officers in disbelief. They then looked at Optimus to see if they were being had, but the serious look on their commanding officer's face made things clear for them.

"Who'd a thunk you two woulda been pranksters," said Ironhide.

"Quite, but what does that have to do with us being witnesses?" asked Hoist.

"I believe you're all familiar with Jazz's change in attitude over the past week," said Optimus.

"Oh yes; I'm familiar. I almost lost my hand to him when I stayed with him in medical that time; that boy has a strong grip, even when he's out cold," said Hoist.

"I found it quite amusing when he said 'you better be there when I come too, Hoist'," smiled Ratchet.

"Well, I'm glad someone found it funny. Wait! Optimus, are you telling us that they're…"

"As the human's would say, you're as quick as a whip, Hoist," said Prowl.

"You two are solely responsible for that poor mech's mental state?" asked Hoist in a mixture of amazement and disbelief.

"Very much so," replied Ratchet.

"What made you do that?"

"Jazz blackmailed us with a picture Optimus found of us posing as the twins for that prank and we thought that we would teach him a lesson," explained Prowl.

"Well, I think that poor mech has learnt his lesson."

"That's exactly why you're here with Ironhide and Trailbreaker, Hoist," said Optimus, holding up the data-pad, "This is a cease fire; Jazz requested one to be signed by both Ratchet and Prowl and, just so that Jazz can't nit pick, I needed more than just myself as a witness."

"I see," nodded Hoist.

"Who else knows about you two?" Ironhide asked, arms folded over his chest.

"No one, that's why we made you three promise to keep this to yourselves," replied Ratchet, as he walked up to Optimus to sign the cease fire.

"Uh, Red Alert knows," corrected Prowl.

"Oh yeah, but we threatened to sic the Lambo's on him if he so much as mimed it to anyone." Ratchet signed in the designated areas and then handed the data-pad to Prowl to sign. The tactician quickly signed his name in the spots next to Ratchet's and handed the data-pad back to Optimus.

"Okay, thank you for your time gentlemen," said Optimus.

"Maybe we should hang around to prove to Jazz that we _did_ actually witness the signing," suggested Hoist.

"Possibly for the best in his current state," said Ratchet.

"Let's go then; the sooner this is over the sooner we can get back to our normal lives," said Optimus, as he got up from his desk and began to lead the way through to Jazz's room.

Once outside of Jazz's room, Optimus knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Jazz.

"Optimus. Open up, Jazz," said Optimus.

"How do I know that that really _is_ you, Prime?"

"He's too far gone down paranoia avenue to truly trust us," observed Ratchet.

"Well, I wonder who's fault that is," said Hoist sarcastically.

Ratchet gave the engineer a dry look.

"Hoist, tell Grapple to get a new door ready to be fitted," said Ratchet, as he marched up to Jazz's door, signalling for Prowl to join him. Hoist looked surprised by the request.

"Why?" he asked.

Just then Ratchet lifted his right leg and Prowl his left and then, with a big front kick, the pair pushed the door in. A surprised yelp was heard from Jazz, who had scooted to the back of his room. The others just looked at the two senior officers in surprise, as they straightened up and moved away from the door.

"Jazz, come on out and stop acting like an over grown baby," reprimanded Ratchet, as he and Prowl waited outside of his room.

Hesitantly, Jazz made his way towards the door of his room.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Here's the cease fire you asked for," said Optimus, handing the data-pad to his traumatised second-in-command.

Jazz took it and read it quickly; noting the signatures.

"Ironhide, Trailbreaker and myself witnessed the signing so you have nothing to worry about, Jazz," Hoist said in an attempt to calm the jittery Porsche.

"I guess I shoulda left the cease fire I had written up with you, Big guy," said Jazz, as he pulled a data-pad out of subspace, "I kinda fergot ta leave it when I left my note."

"Do you want them to sign this as well?" Optimus asked, not wanting to prolong this any more than was necessary.

"Yes please." There was a hint of a grin on Jazz's face, but he was able to conceal it, as he held the data-pad out to Prowl and Ratchet; he un-subspaced two stylus' and handed them to the senior officers.

Prowl and Ratchet stepped forward and began to read the cease fire, but didn't get very far.

"Just sign it!" Hoist commanded.

Ratchet and Prowl were surprised by the sudden outburst from the usually docile engineer.

"In the highlighted areas please," said Jazz.

Prowl and Ratchet quickly signed, not bothering to read the document for fear of getting on the wrong side of the engineer.

"Right; done and done. Now, that I've witnessed two signings I'm going back to Grapple to continue our conversation and inform him that Jazz's room needs a new door," said Hoist, as he began to make his way away from the group.

Jazz subspaced the data-pad and stepped out of his room; his signature grin on his face.

"Been a long time since we saw that smile," commented Ratchet.

"Yeah," grinned Jazz.

"No hard feelings?" asked Prowl, holding a hand out for his friend to take.

"Yeah; no hard feelings. When you two wanna teach a mech somethin' you get the message across one time."

"So, you figured out why we were doing it?" asked Ratchet.

"It wasn't too difficult to figure; I mean, I hadn't done anything to either of you except that," smiled Jazz.

"Well, we hope you learnt your lesson."

"Yes sir and them some."

"Good."

Optimus nodded approvingly at his soldiers and then the group dispersed to return to their duties.

Several days later, everything was back to normal around the base. Ratchet and Prowl had received a few light punishments from Optimus for the pranks they had played on Jazz; after which they hung up their pranking coats and were back to being their regular selves.

"Hey, Prowl," said Ratchet, as he met up with the tactician in a corridor.

"Yes?" Prowl asked.

"Want to get a mug of energon in the common room?"

"Sure; I was just heading that way."

The two senior officers walked down the corridor of the ark in perfect misstep; Prowl's left leg being in perfect sync with Ratchet's right. They got to about half way down the corridor and then the world went upside down. Both officers let out a yelp of surprise when they felt their feet leave the floor and then found themselves upside-down; suspended from the ceiling. Then they heard a maniacal laugh from not too far away.

"Jazz!" they yelled.

The Porsche staggered out from a side corridor still laughing and holding onto the wall to keep himself up.

"I thought we were over this!" growled Ratchet.

"Uh-uh, Ratch; you didn't read the fine print!" grinned Jazz, as he walked up to the two; having recovered from his hysteria.

"What?" Prowl and Ratchet exclaimed.

Jazz brought out the data-pad they had signed and scrolled to the bottom; he inverted the pad and held it up so that they could see it.

"There," he said pointing to the spot.

"And the second party agree to allow the first party to play one prank on them as payback for the trauma caused during said week," read Prowl.

"Let's just say that this is payback for the 'then some'," Jazz grinned, as he returned the data-pad to subspace.

Ratchet glowered at the Porsche.

"I'll see you two later," said Jazz, as he turned and began to walk away from Prowl and Ratchet.

"Hey! You can't leave us hanging here, Jazz. Jazz!" said Ratchet, as the second-in-command disappeared around the corner.

"JAZZ!" Ratchet roared.

Ratchet grunted and then opened a secure line to the Lambo twins.

"Come get us down," he said simply.

"Corridor D?" Sideswipe asked.

"How'd you kn… you two didn't."

"Let's just say that Jazz knows how to speak our language," said Sunstreaker.

"You two little mercenaries! Just wait until I get my hands on you!" growled Ratchet.

There was nothing but static on the other side of the com-link.

"They're not coming," said Prowl.

"No, they're waiting until I've cooled off, but I can tell you now that that's not going to happen," said Ratchet, as he switched to First Aid's frequency.

"First Aid, get down to corridor D and bring Hot Spot and the others; Prowl and I need you to get us down from the ceiling," said Ratchet.

He heard First Aid about to say something, but cut him off saying, "Don't ask questions just do it!"

"Right away!" came First Aid's reply, as the transmission was cut.

"So now what? We signed a cease fire, so we can't get back at Jazz for a whole month; I _did_ read that," said Prowl.

"We may not be able to get back at Jazz, but I'm sure we can get someone else to for us," replied Ratchet.

"Oh? Like who? The twins?"

"No! I'm not dealing with those two timing pieces of scrap again; no. We'll find someone, just as soon as First Aid and the others get us down."


	4. Chapter 4

.Chapter four.

As soon as the Protectobots had gotten Ratchet and Prowl down, the pair continued on their way to the common room for their midday ration of energon. When they entered the room they found the aerial 'bots sitting at one of the tables. Ratchet's mouth quickly turned into an evil smile.

"Prowl," he said pulling the second-in-command closer, "I think we just found our men."

Prowl looked where Ratchet was looking and spotted the Aerial 'bots.

"Silverbolt and his boys?" he asked.

Ratchet nodded, not taking his optics off of the crew as if they would vanish if he looked away from them for a moment.

"You know that's ludicrous," said Prowl.

"Why?" asked Ratchet, releasing the second-in-command and folding his arms across his chest.

"Have you ever seen Silverbolt get involved in any of the pranks the rest of his crew get involved with?"

"Eh… you got me there." Ratchet looked back at the group; a smirk soon spread itself onto his face.

"Well then… we'll just have to grab the guys who _will_ get involved," Ratchet smirked.

Prowl raised an optic ridge at the CMO; what was Ratchet planning? The pair went and got their energon ration; they then went and sat at a table in the corner of the room away from the aerial 'bots. Ratchet positioned himself so that he could keep an eye on them without seeming suspicious.

After a little while, the aerial 'bots rose from their table and began to make their way out; that was when Ratchet made his move. He had to try very hard to keep from sprinting after them. Just before the last aerial 'bot, Slingshot, could walk out of the room, Ratchet latched onto his arm. He had to cover Slingshot's mouth with his hand to stop him from yelping in surprise. Slingshot looked back at the CMO who signalled for him to be quiet; Slingshot nodded. Ratchet then looked at the other aerial 'bots.

"Psst! Air Raid, FireFlight. Get over here!" Ratchet hissed at the aerial 'bots.

The two fliers looked back hearing their names. Ratchet signalled for them to come to him. They looked at each other, but then began to approach the CMO.

"What's up, Ratchet?" asked Air Raid.

"Shhh. Follow me," whispered Ratchet, as he released Slingshot and walked back into the common room; the currently present aerial bots followed him.

Ratchet walked up to Prowl and then turned to face the three.

"What's up?" Air Raid asked again in a whisper this time.

"How would you boys like to play a prank on the twins for us?" asked Ratchet in a close to normal tone.

"A prank?" asked Slingshot, raising an optic ridge at the medic.

"On Sunstreaker and Sideswipe?" asked FireFlight, raising one of his optic ridges as well.

"You've got to be joking," said Air Raid.

"Look, we'll cover for you; the twins won't lay a prank or a finger on you," said Ratchet.

The three winged warriors looked at each other; not sure what to make of this.

"So?" asked Ratchet.

"Why do you want us to play a prank on them?" asked Air Raid, folding his arms across his chest plate.

"We have our reasons; so?"

The three fliers looked at each other again and smiled. Air Raid then held a hand out to Ratchet for him to shake.

"You've got yourself a deal, Ratchet," he smiled.

Ratchet smiled, took Air Raid's hand in his own and shook it.

The next day, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were casually walking down one of the corridors in the Ark; little did the pair know that a prank was just waiting to happen around the next corner. Slingshot and Air Raid were waiting them, each with a small electronic device in their hands.

"Here they come," Slingshot whispered to Air Raid, as he peeped around the corner of the corridor to see where the twins were, "Ready?"

"I was _manufactured_ ready," Air Raid smiled.

"Good. Let's do this." With that the two aerial 'bots quickly and quietly moved down their corridor a bit so that they could make it seem like they were just walking in the opposite direction to the twins. Once far enough down they began to walk back towards where the twins were coming from.

"Hi Sunstreaker. Hi Sideswipe," Air Raid greeted, as the twins turned the corner

"Hey guys; how yah doin'?" smiled Sideswipe, as he and Sunstreaker stopped to talk to the two flyers.

"Nothing to complain of," smiled Slingshot.

"Say, uh…," Sideswipe looked around before moving slightly closer to the two flyers, "You wouldn't happen to have seen our CMO and tactician would you?"

"Ratchet and Prowl? Not today; why?" asked Air Raid.

Sideswipe checked that the coast was clear again before replying, "Just… we pulled a prank and I don't think either of them have really forgiven us for it yet and, well, you both know what kind of mechs they are when they're miffed."

"Ahh, right."

"Don't worry about it guys," said Slingshot, "I'm sure they're fine."

"What would make you say that?" Sunstreaker asked suspiciously.

"We saw them yesterday and they didn't seem _too_ upset," replied Air Raid.

Sunstreaker gave the pair a probing look, but, seeing as they weren't going to say anything more on the subject, left it at that.

"Well, time's moving and we're not," said Slingshot, as he looked at Air Raid.

"Yeah, 'Bolt'll have our wings if we don't get to the runway soon. We'll see you guys around," said Air Raid, as he moved to pass Sideswipe and Slingshot moved to pass Sunstreaker.

"And don't worry about Prowl or Ratchet; I'm sure they're fine." Slingshot gave Sunstreaker a 'comforting' pat on the back, which Sunstreaker was not impressed by, and Air Raid did the same to Sideswipe before walking away with his team mate.

Once they were out of audio shot, Sideswipe turned to Sunstreaker with a confused look on his face.

"Since when have they been the 'pat-on-the-back' types?" he asked.

Sunstreaker glared at the empty space which had had the two flyers in it just moments ago before they disappeared around the corner.

"I don't know, but… I have this nagging feeling in my gut that something's up," Sunstreaker replied, before turning to continue heading down the corridor.

Meanwhile, down the other corridor, Air Raid was just about to contact FireFlight.

"They're all yours," he said over his com-link with an audio-to-audio grin.

"Thanks, Raid. Their ETA?" asked FireFlight.

"Less than two minutes," replied Slingshot.

"'Kay, will be watching out for them. FireFlight out."

With that Air Raid and Slingshot high-fived and then continued on their way through to the runway.

The twins were nearing FireFlight's position and had almost forgotten their suspicions of Air Raid and Slingshot when…

"Ack! Ergh!" they both exclaimed simultaneously, as they were flung back to back by an invisible force. They stood there for a moment regaining their breath and senses; nothing seemed out of the usual and nothing was damaged so, shrugging it off as a freak happening, they stood up normal again. Well… _tried_ to stand up normally anyway.

"Sides, you can stop leaning on me now," Sunstreaker said.

"Uh… I would if I could, bro," Sideswipe replied, as he tried to stand up, but ended up pulling his brother this way and that with his efforts.

"Okay Sides! Stop will you!" Sunstreaker growled.

Sideswipe obeyed and tried to look at his back to see what was stopping the pair from getting apart.

"Why do I get the strangest feeling this has something to do with that pat on the back?" Sunstreaker asked, not at all amused by his current situation.

"Those flyers are going to be in for _nasty_ surprise… once we get apart anyway. Ideas?" asked Sideswipe, looking over his shoulder at his brother.

While Sunstreaker was thinking about what to do, Brawn came walking down the corridor.

"Uh… something wrong, fellas?" he asked, looking at the two.

"Now _what_ would give you _that_ idea, Brawn?" Sunstreaker asked sarcastically, folding his arms across his chest plate.

Brawn just smiled amusedly at the two and began to continue on his way.

"Have a nice day," he said, as he passed the twins.

"Brawn! Wait! Could you do us a favour?" asked Sideswipe.

"What?" Brawn looked over his shoulder at the red twin.

"Get First Aid for us."

"Why not just hail him on his com-link?"

"You know who's apprentice he is right?"

Brawn raised an optic ridge at him; Sideswipe had never had a problem with Ratchet before.

"Look," started Sunstreaker, "We just don't want Ratchet to hear about this. Okay?"

"You two done something to 'im you _shouldn't_ have?" asked Brawn.

"Duh," said Sideswipe.

"Okay; I'll fetch 'Aid for you."

"Thanks."

"Just don't go anywhere." Brawn smiled amusedly, as he began to walk away from the twins.

"Weren't planning on it."

It wasn't long before First Aid came to the twins' aid.

"What's wrong?" he asked, as he stopped and looked at the pair.

"Stuck," Sideswipe replied.

"How?"

"If we knew _how_ we would no doubt know _how_ to get unstuck," Sunstreaker snapped; his mood darkening with every minute that he was still stuck to his twin.

"Okay. Well, let's see," said First Aid, as he walked up to the twins and stuck his hands in a small gap that was below their stuck part. He tried to gently ease the two apart, even just a little bit to see what was sticking them, but couldn't. The pull was just too strong. He tried again, with more force this time, but no matter what he did the twins were well and truly stuck.

"Sorry guys. But… you're going to _have_ to see Ratchet. He's stronger than I am and I'm sure that he can get you apart," said First Aid.

"What? No way! What if we help?" asked Sideswipe.

"Help?"

"Yes. Pull while you push."

First Aid raised an optic at the strange behaviour of the twins, they had never had a problem with seeing Ratchet before; then he remembered the previous day's prank on Ratchet and Prowl.

"Oh, you're scared of Ratchet's wrath," he said with a slightly amused tone.

"Scared? Us? Naa! We just…," started Sideswipe.

"You have nothing to worry about, Sideswipe; he's in a particularly good mood today. Even heard him humming earlier."

"Humming?" the twins asked in unison.

Then it hit them.

"Maybe it would be good for us to go see the doc," said Sunstreaker, gritting his dental plates.

"Yeah," agreed Sideswipe.

"I'll escort you," said First Aid, as he took the lead with the joined twins behind him.

It took a bit longer than usual to reach the med-bay, but they did eventually get there. First Aid opened the door for the twins and they walked crab-like in.

"Ahh! Good morning, boys; how are you?" Ratchet asked with an audio-to-audio grin.

"You're behind this," Sunstreaker almost growled at the CMO.

"Behind what, Sunstreaker?"

The twins jerked their thumbs in the direction of their stuck backs.

"I'm sorry, but I had no control over the pair of you being made brothers," Ratchet said with a slight smile, deliberately ignoring their obvious problem.

"Ratch! Please; just get us unstuck!" Sideswipe almost shouted, not wanting to play the medic's games.

Ratchet chuckled.

"Okay, okay. Relax boys. I'll see what I can do," Ratchet said, walking up to the pair.

"Hmm," he said, as he looked at their stuck backs. He put a hand on each of their shoulders and tried to pry them apart, but, like First Aid, he met with defeat.

"What's in there? Glue?" Ratchet asked, looking at First Aid, who shrugged.

"Don't know, Boss; I couldn't get a good look," First Aid replied.

"I guess I'll have to call in some assistance." With that Ratchet opened a com-link to his three little prankers.

"Alright, boys, what did you do to the twins? I need to get them unstuck now," Ratchet said in a slightly amused tone over the com-link.

"We just used some super strong electro-magnets, Ratchet," replied Air Raid.

"Harmless, but effective," added Slingshot.

Ratchet laughed.

"Very well done, boys, very well done, but how do I get the twins apart again? I know they're close, but I _do_ know that they need their alone time too," Ratchet said.

"I'll switch the magnets off, Ratchet," said FireFlight.

No sooner had he finished his sentence than the twins sprung apart and moved to relieve their bodies of the stiffness that had set in.

"Thank you," said Ratchet, as he terminated the communication.

"Right. Now that we're separate entities again, Sunny; maybe we should put our heads together to come up with an idea for a bit of payback for the flyers three," said Sideswipe with his serious-and-slightly-annoyed face on.

"Hey! You harm or prank a single _part_ of their anatomy and, after I'm finished dealing with them, I'll be coming to deal with the pair of _you_! Do you understand?" Ratchet asked, his happy mood completely and utterly gone.

The twins scrunched up their faces in a sulky pout and folded their arms across their chests.

"Good. Now, get outta my med-bay," Ratchet said; definitely back to his old self.

The twins glared at him before turning to leave; that's when Ratchet caught sight of the offending magnets.

"Hold it you two," he said, walking up to them.

They partially turned to look back at him, but he turned them back 'round and unceremoniously plucked the magnets from their backs.

"Now you can go," he said.

The twins didn't even bother to say anything; they simply left the med-bay.

The only way to describe what happened next would be to call it a 'prank war'. The twins recruited one half of the base's prankers and Prowl and Ratchet recruited the other. Those who were on neither side had the joy of getting caught in the cross-fire. Optimus had hoped that the situation would sort itself out, but, after a month, it didn't seem to be abating.

"Ah can't take it anymore, Prahm!" exclaimed Ironhide, as he wiped several shades of paint from his optics.

"You're not the only one, Ironhide. I believe it's time we ended this," Optimus agreed, wiping an equal rainbow of paints off of himself with a damp towel.

"But how are we gonna do that?"

"I've got an idea."

Just by the tone of his voice, Ironhide knew Optimus had a devious plan up his metaphoric sleeve.


	5. Chapter 5

.Chapter five.

Morning and another day of pranks was about to begin; that is… if anyone could get up from their recharge berths.

"What the?" asked Sideswipe, as he found himself glued to his berth.

Sunstreaker was in a similar predicament; he pulled this way and that, but he was not coming unstuck.

"Ratchet's doing," Sideswipe said darkly; ever since that prank Ratchet had the aerial 'bots play on the twins their relationship with the medic had been a stormy one.

"Must be; he's the only one with access to _this_ kind of adhesive substance," replied Sunstreaker, giving up the fight against the glue.

"Besides us, bro." Sideswipe smiled despite his current situation.

Sunstreaker opened a communication line to the medic.

"Very funny, Ratchet, now let us go," said Sunstreaker over the com-link.

"Yeah, so that we can get back at yah," said Sideswipe.

"What are you two talkin' about? _You_ have to come free _me_ from _your_ prank!" Ratchet replied, grouchy as ever.

"What are you talking about? We haven't done _anything_," said Sunstreaker.

"And we _won't_ be doing anything until someone frees _us_ from our sticky situation," added Sideswipe.

There was a pause until Ratchet asked, "What do you mean 'sticky situation'?"

"We're glued to our recharge berths," replied Sunstreaker.

Another pause from the CMO.

"I'll contact my men and see what I can do, _so long as_ you contact yours and find out who strung me up like a sausage from the rafters of my room," said Ratchet.

Sideswipe snorted and Sunstreaker just smiled; the mental image was priceless.

"W-we'll see what we can dig up," Sideswipe said, trying not to laugh.

"Good," replied Ratchet, as he terminated the communication.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker opened a general communication to their men.

"Alright guys, who strung the medic up?" asked Sunstreaker.

"What are you talking about, Sunstreaker?" asked Powerglide.

"Yeah; _we're_ the ones strung up!" added Tracks.

"Or stuck!" added Cliffjumper.

"Wait. You guys saying that you're all…," started Sideswipe.

"Incapacitated! Yes!" the twins' 'army' responded in unison.

Sunstreaker immediately opened a communication to Ratchet.

"Ratchet, are all of your men still operative?" he asked.

"No! Prowl and I did a check on everyone; we're all either 'hanging around' or 'glued down'!"

"All of them?" asked Sideswipe.

"Yes! Happy?"

"Not really."

"Eh?"

"Our whole side is down too," explained Sunstreaker.

"Same problems?" asked Ratchet.

"Yes," the twins replied in unison.

"Why do I get a sneaking suspicion that this is supposed to teach us all a lesson?"

"Well, if not teach you a lesson, at least end the prank war," said Optimus over the com-link.

"Optimus?" the three mechs said in unison.

"Hello," the commander replied; a smile extremely evident in his voice.

"You did this?" asked Sideswipe.

"With some help from the non-pranksters on the crew," Optimus replied.

"That _would_ explain how you all got into our quarters without alerting us," Sideswipe said, as he thought about it.

"Exactly," Optimus replied.

"O-ooh. So… yo-ou gonna let us up or down soon?"

"Depends."

"On what?" Ratchet asked suspiciously.

"On how quickly you, Prowl and the twins make peace; as soon as you agree we'll let you all loose."

The twins and Ratchet thought for a moment before replying.

"Okay," they said in unison.

"Good. I'll dispatch my team to liberate you all from your specific predicaments and, Ratchet, Twins, I want to see you three and Prowl in the command room as soon as you're freed. Understood?" Optimus asked.

"Yes sir," the three 'bots replied in unison.

"Good. Prime over and out." With that Optimus terminated his transmission to the three.

When Ratchet, Prowl and the twins had finally been freed, they immediately made their way through to the command room with their releasers, Silverbolt, Skydive, Huffer and Beachcomber, close behind. Upon entering, they found the rest of the Autobots standing there too. Some were still removing sticky wads of glue from their persons and others were rubbing either their arms or legs, depending on which extremities had been constricted by their cocoon-like imprisonment. The Autobots were also still in their separate 'factions', so to speak; Sideswipe and Sunstreaker's 'army' on the right and Ratchet and Prowl's 'army' on the left with Prime and his 'army' at the far end of the room. Their releasers walked past them and rejoined Prime at the front.

"Boys," Optimus said in his serious yet not-going-to-bite-any-helms-off way.

The twins, Ratchet and Prowl let out a sigh of defeat and then walked up to him. They looked up at their commander and he gave them a look and a nod, which clearly conveyed what he wanted. They nodded and turned to face their 'adversaries'.

Prowl and Ratchet were the first to extend their hands to shake their respective twin's hand.

"Truce?" they asked in unison.

"Truce," the twins said in unison; Sunstreaker taking Prowl's hand and Sideswipe taking Ratchet's hand.

Optimus and his 'army' smiled at the two pairs; finally things could return to normal.

Just then Sideswipe extended his free hand to Prowl; Prowl looked at it quizzically.

"We've got to make sure we're all at peace here," Sideswipe said with an innocent and well-meaning lopsided grin; something Prowl hadn't seen for a while due to the prank war.

Prowl nodded and took Sideswipe's hand in his free hand; Sunstreaker and Ratchet, following their partner-in-crime's lead took each other's free hand. The four nodded at each other and then released each other's hands.

"Good, now there's just one more thing," said Optimus.

The other Autobots in the room looked at him.

"I think you all know I can't let this go without some form of disciplinary action," Optimus continued.

There was a unanimous groan from the Autobots.

"Yah did this ta yerselves," said Ironhide.

"Quite," agreed Optimus.

"I'll go fetch the paper picks, Ratchet," said Prowl, as he turned to leave.

"Good idea and don't forget the bags," Ratchet said.

"Yer not gettin' off that easy, Prowl," said Ironhide, folding his arms across his chest plate.

"Huh?" Prowl and Ratchet asked, looking up at the red mech.

"The four of yah will be given a… special assignment; pickin' up papers just ain't gonna cut it this tahm."

The four looked at each other warily; what did Ironhide have planned for them?

"This is low! Even for Ironhide!" complained Sunstreaker, as he, Sideswipe, Prowl and Ratchet made their way into town as a mini Autobot convoy.

"Yeah, I mean, even Prowl wasn't _this_ harsh!" added Sideswipe.

"Thank you, Sideswipe, but maybe it's time I had a word with Ironhide about new disciplinary techniques," said Prowl.

"What? No! Sunny! We gotta keep him _away_ from Ironhide! If we have to do anything even _close_ to this again… I don't know what I would do!"

"Oh hush up, the lot of you!" growled Ratchet, "It's bad enough that we have to do this, so I _don't_ need the added torture of hearing you _whine_, Sideswipe!"

"Agreed," Prowl added.

With that the red twin put it on mute and the convoy continued on their way in silence.

A few hours later, Ironhide decided to contact them from his post in the park, while he kept an optic on the paper pickers Optimus had assigned to him; namely the rowdier members of the twins' and Ratchet and Prowl's prank armies.

"How yah boys doin?" he asked, with a smile.

"How do you _think_ we're dong?" came Ratchet's hushed, but extremely irritable reply.

"Aw, c'mon, Ratchet; Ah thought, as a medic, yah would love kids."

Ratchet grumbled something under his breath.

"Oh! Hey, hang on a sec, Doc; Ah got muhself a lil problem ta deal with," said Ironhide, as he spotted Blades and Slingshot sizing each other up.

"Take all the time you need," Ratchet replied.

"Thank yah kindly. Slingshot! Blades! Knock it off an' get back ta work! Yah understand!" Ironhide barked across the park.

The two named 'bots cringed, but did as they were told.

"Sorry 'bout that, Ratchet; where were we?" Ironhide asked.

"Let me just say that, before you bark orders at another 'bot, CANCEL YOUR TRANSMISSION TO ME!" Ratchet exclaimed.

"Ah sincerely hope that the kids ain't with yah now, Ratchet."

"Fortunately, no. I was able to excuse myself to take the call; much to two Lamborghini's dismay." Ironhide could hear that Ratchet was smiling.

"Then Ah better not keep yah; how's the museum though?"

"Peaceful, apart from the kids."

"I noticed yah didn't mention the twins."

"They were included in that remark."

Ironhide chuckled, "Alright Ratchet; I won't keep yah from yer fun. See yah and the others back at base later."

"Yeah. Ratchet out."

"Ironhide out." With that the pair terminated their transmissions to each other and went back to their previous assignments.

Several weeks later and everything was back to normal, even the relationship between the twins, Ratchet and Prowl.

"Hey, uh, Ratchet," said Sideswipe, as he and Sunstreaker entered the med-bay.

"Yes?" asked Ratchet, as he and Prowl, who had come to talk to the CMO earlier, looked at the pair. Not surprisingly the scene before them was one of extreme familiarity. Sunstreaker, who was sporting an interesting gash in one of his head fins and a few more minor injuries on his person, was trying to keep his twin up off the floor due to the fact that said twin only had one leg to stand on; the other was dragging limply behind him.

"Think you could, uh… lend a hand?" Sideswipe asked with a sheepish grin.

"Don't tell me; jet judo," said Ratchet, as he turned to face the two and folded his arms across his chest.

"In a way."

"'In a way'?" Prowl asked, an optic ridge raised.

"Let's just say that we won't be practicing on the aerial 'bots again anytime soon," Sideswipe replied.

The CMO and tactician just nodded in understanding. Ratchet walked over to one of the repair berths and Prowl moved to the other side of the 'bay where he wouldn't be in the way.

"Come on; get up here," Ratchet said in a reasonably calm voice.

"You're not going to yell at us?" asked Sideswipe, as Sunstreaker helped him across the med-bay and deposited him on the berth.

"No, I'm not."

"What's the catch?" Sunstreaker asked suspiciously.

"No catch, Sunstreaker. To be honest, during our prank war,… I missed the pair of you coming to me for repairs. Every time a report of a particularly messy prank came in, I half expected to see the pair of you coming in to me, but all I got was the prankee with a new prank idea."

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe looked at each other, surprised by the news; they never realised that the medic felt that way about them. Ratchet noticed the look and smiled at the pair.

"You're _my_ boys and only Prowl or myself have the permission to beat up on you," Ratchet said.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker smiled back at the CMO; it was kind of nice to know that their two favourite targets actually liked them.

"So… does this mean we're getting off easy?" Sideswipe asked Prowl hopefully, while Ratchet got to work on his dead leg.

Prowl smiled amusedly at the red twin.

"Not a chance; Ratchet will throttle you if you tell anyone about that… sentimental speech of his, but everyone will know immediately that I've gone soft if I don't give you _some_ kind of discipline," he said.

"Ahh," the twins groaned.

"But it won't be as harsh as taking kids on a field trip again."

"Thank you," Sunstreaker said; he had _not_ enjoyed that one bit.

Prowl smiled at the pair.

"I'll leave you to your work, Ratchet," Prowl said with a small smile.

"Right," Ratchet replied with a nod.

Prowl nodded a goodbye to the twins and then took his leave.

"He's right you know," Ratchet said, not looking up from his work.

"What?" asked Sideswipe.

"About what?" asked Sunstreaker, as he leaned on the berth.

"I'll do you both a damage if you so much as _mime_ what I said to you now; got it?" Ratchet asked, his voice regaining it's 'dangerous' edge.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker smiled happily at hearing the familiar tone.

"Got it," they said in unison.

"Good. Now hold still, Sideswipe! I can't very well fix _this_ leg if you keep swinging _that_ one!"

Sideswipe smiled again and stopped swinging his leg so that the CMO could get on with his work. Ratchet smiled to himself as he noticed the obedient response from the red warrior, but he wasn't the only one smiling. Over in the surveillance room, Red Alert was smiling happily to himself as well. Sure, being head of security had it's downside like having to guard against Decepticons and spies, but it's upside was that monitor duty was like watching Earth soap operas twenty-four/seven and everything was ten times better; from the 'actors' to the 'storylines' and everything in-between.

.The end.


End file.
